Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 2-Meaning Behind Your Blog Name

It's not very hard to figure out. There is a poem by Emily Dickinson, it goes like this :

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

While trying to concieve, hope is a very hard thing to hang on to. Whether you're on your 2nd cycle or your 15th, 3 months in or 3 years in, hope can be elusive.
When you have trouble trying to concieve, it's harder. You ask, why me? You look around and suddenly everyone is pregnant, and you ask, why  not me? People complain about morning sickness, aches, pains and all the other uncomfortable symptoms of pregnancy and you wish you could have that. You wish you were having u/s that showed more than an empty uterus and cyst-filled ovaries. You wish that you didn't have to take medications that made you feel sick all the time, that you were one of those blessed "fertile myrtles" who just look at a penis and get pregnant.
It's lonely. It's a very lonely experience to go through infertility. Infertility is taboo. I don't really understand why. If infertilty wasn't something that plagued a lot of women we would have advances like IVF.

So why this poem? No matter how much hope seems to elude you, it's there. Everytime you think your period might be late, or you have a phantom symptom, it's in your soul singing the same song, you just have to get all the shit out of  your head and listen to it. No matter how rough things are going, hope is always there.

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