So, I fell off the wagon. Between being busy and being sick, I just haven't had the time or inclination to do much more than take cold medications and sleep. I'm just going to pick up where I left off, and as I will be on a cruise next week, I will probably stop again for a week and pick up again.
So... something I am afraid of.
I'm not going to lie, there are a lot of things I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of losing the people I love, heights, being alone, the dark (kind of), paranormal activity, going to Hell when I die, aliens...
However, the one thing I fear the most, and somewhat irrationally is that our house will catch on fire. I worry about this constantly. I worry about our poor puppies not being able to get out if we aren't home, or us not being able to get out. I worry about smoke alarms, leaving candles burning, leaving my hair straightener on.
When I was younger, my parents house burned almost completely. I still remember walking in the charred rubble and the smell. I remember how my once white play room decorated in Rainbow Brite was black and smoked and not white at all anymore. Just thinking about it too much gets me stressed and worried. I really wanted to put an alarm system in our home so that the fire department would be automatically alerted if the smoke alarm goes off, but we really don't want to invest that much money into this house that we will only be in for a few years.
So I make sure everything is off, that there are stickers alerting any firemen where our pets like to hide and begging them to "Please Save Our Pets." Would I care about this if we didn't have living creatures in the house? Probably not as much, but I hate the thought of any living creature (even a rat or a roach) to have to die in a fire.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Day 9 - A picture of my friends
Here are the majority of my friends.
Front Row L-R: Melissa, Elaine (cousin), Tab (aunt) Me
Front Row L-R: Melissa, Elaine (cousin), Tab (aunt) Me
Back Row L-R: Tanya, Tiffany, Lindsay and Rachel(cousin)
Melissa - We met the summer before our freshman year of college. She and I have been through pretty much EVERYTHING together.
Elaine - I know she's my cousin, but my family are some of my closest "friends"
Elaine - I know she's my cousin, but my family are some of my closest "friends"
Tab - Again, she was someone I was always able to talk to even from a young age.
Tanya- We met freshman year of college. We lose touch now and again, but I know she'd always be there for me.
Lindsay - Is my other best friend. We met a few years ago at a job. She is someone I could vent to and even if I was totally wrong, she would take my side.
Rachel - She is my cousin, but one of the people I am closest too. We grew up together and also have gone through everything. When I need to vent about my parents or job, she's there and vice versa. She is who we are going to ask to be this baby's godmother.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Day 7 - Favorite Movies & Day 8 - A place I've traveled
I suck, can't even make it a whole week without falling behind lol.
So here is day 7 -
I am a sucker for old-fashioned historical romantic movies. Gone With the Wind, Sense and Sensibility, and Pride and Prejudice are my top 3 favs. I could litereally watch any one of these movies every day for a week with no complaints.
Day 8 - A place I've traveled
I've been around in Mexico. I grew up going to spend my summers in Laredo where my great grandparents lived, I got see see the sites in Gujanajuato, a gorgeous mountain city and of course, we've been to the Cancun area. In a little over a week, we'll be going on a cruise to Progresso and Cozumel. :) I love Mexico. And it's really not as bad as people say.
On other notes:
I had another baby dream. This time I woke up to a baby crying and I walked to what will be the nursery and in the crib was this gorgeous baby girl kicking her legs and wanting to be picked up. She was chubby and had tons of dark, dark hair.
Probably wishful thinking as I'm still pretty sure it's a boy!
So here is day 7 -
I am a sucker for old-fashioned historical romantic movies. Gone With the Wind, Sense and Sensibility, and Pride and Prejudice are my top 3 favs. I could litereally watch any one of these movies every day for a week with no complaints.
Day 8 - A place I've traveled
I've been around in Mexico. I grew up going to spend my summers in Laredo where my great grandparents lived, I got see see the sites in Gujanajuato, a gorgeous mountain city and of course, we've been to the Cancun area. In a little over a week, we'll be going on a cruise to Progresso and Cozumel. :) I love Mexico. And it's really not as bad as people say.
On other notes:
I had another baby dream. This time I woke up to a baby crying and I walked to what will be the nursery and in the crib was this gorgeous baby girl kicking her legs and wanting to be picked up. She was chubby and had tons of dark, dark hair.
Probably wishful thinking as I'm still pretty sure it's a boy!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
12 Weeks!
I'm 12 weeks today! :) I figured I start this and try to remember to do it on a weekly basis.
Mommy's Stats:
How far along?: 12 weeks
Weight gain/loss: lost 3 lbs
Symptoms: just exhaustion. Other than that, I feel great!
Maternity clothes?: not full time, but my "fat pants" have to be unbuttoned so it may be time.
Stretch marks?: None that weren't already there.
Sleep: I get good sleep, with some weird dreams, but I'm still always tired.
Best moment this week: Finding a crib we like and can agree on!
Food cravings: crab, pickles, cheeseburgers
Gender: Don't know yet!
Belly button in or out?: in
Movement?: Not yet
Signs of Labor: Negitive
What I miss?: feeling rested
What I'm looking forward to: My cruise in a couple of weeks!
Weekly Wisdom: Just because you don't hear the hb on a doppler at home doesn't mean something is wrong!
Weekly WTF: pooping used to be easy and this crying at everything has to stop.
Milestones: Only 1 week away from 2nd tri!
Day 6 - A Picture Of Something That Makes You Happy
Left to Right: Laika, Izzy and Nibbler
My puppies always know how to make my day. I love how excited they are to see me when I walk in the door, even if I was gone for 10 minutes.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Day 5 - Your Siblings
I am the oldest of 4 children.
I'm 25, my brother is 24 and my twin sisters are 21.
My brother and I grew up with my grandfather while my sisters lived with my grandmother in Arizona (see parents post).
My brother and I are pretty close. Sure we get on each other's nerves sometimes, but he knows I'll always be there for him and vice versa. He lived with me and Adam for a while after he got into some trouble. He's married (but separated at the moment), and has a beautiful daughter named Aaliyah.
I don't really talk to my sisters that often. Sometimes I just don't get them. But, I guess that's what comes about when you're raised by different people. I can't really say that we're close, but as siblings I'd still do a lot for them as needed.
Today has been a crazy day at work, so I'll make this one short too. I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow and can't wait!
I'm 25, my brother is 24 and my twin sisters are 21.
My brother and I grew up with my grandfather while my sisters lived with my grandmother in Arizona (see parents post).
My brother and I are pretty close. Sure we get on each other's nerves sometimes, but he knows I'll always be there for him and vice versa. He lived with me and Adam for a while after he got into some trouble. He's married (but separated at the moment), and has a beautiful daughter named Aaliyah.
I don't really talk to my sisters that often. Sometimes I just don't get them. But, I guess that's what comes about when you're raised by different people. I can't really say that we're close, but as siblings I'd still do a lot for them as needed.
Today has been a crazy day at work, so I'll make this one short too. I have a Dr. appointment tomorrow and can't wait!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Day 4 - Your Parents
My parents... where to begin?
My mother got pregnant with me very young. My brother was born 13 months after me, and my sisters a couple of years later. Basically she was 20 with 4 kids. I couldn't imagine it.
My father has been in legal trouble since he was 17. In and out of jail and then prison, he wasn't ever around, until he got out for the last time when I was 12. By that time, I had no interest in being around him (and I still don't, honestly).
I can't imagine having 4 children on my own at 20. Am I really surprised that she decided it wasn't worth her time and left us with my grandpa? No, can't say that I am. She is now living in South Dakota (or is it North?) with some guy and blah blah blah.
My REAL parents:
In all reality, my parents were made up of my Grandpa and my Auntie. Without them, there is no way I'd be where I am now. I am eternally grateful to them.
I could get into a big long drama filled post about it, however, it's Sunday and you're lucky I'm even blogging today. :)
My mother got pregnant with me very young. My brother was born 13 months after me, and my sisters a couple of years later. Basically she was 20 with 4 kids. I couldn't imagine it.
My father has been in legal trouble since he was 17. In and out of jail and then prison, he wasn't ever around, until he got out for the last time when I was 12. By that time, I had no interest in being around him (and I still don't, honestly).
I can't imagine having 4 children on my own at 20. Am I really surprised that she decided it wasn't worth her time and left us with my grandpa? No, can't say that I am. She is now living in South Dakota (or is it North?) with some guy and blah blah blah.
My REAL parents:
In all reality, my parents were made up of my Grandpa and my Auntie. Without them, there is no way I'd be where I am now. I am eternally grateful to them.
I could get into a big long drama filled post about it, however, it's Sunday and you're lucky I'm even blogging today. :)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Day 3-Your first love
You know, there were a few times before meeting Adam that I thought that I might be in love. As much in love as a 15 year old, then an 18 year old girl could be.
My freshman year of high school I met a boy who played football. I was in "love" and devestated when we broke up. Looking back, I can't help but laugh. Our love was displayed in notes passed in the hall between classes, and so was our break up.
The summer before my senior year, I met another boy. I thought he was "the one." He is the guy I lost my virginity to, the one I thought would be in my life forever.... and then he cheated on me with a 14 year old (he was 20) and was basically an ass.
Adam is the first man that I think I was really truely in love with. He was and still is the one person I can imagine having grandchildren with and growing old with. I am so very happy that I met him and get to spend the rest of my life with!
My freshman year of high school I met a boy who played football. I was in "love" and devestated when we broke up. Looking back, I can't help but laugh. Our love was displayed in notes passed in the hall between classes, and so was our break up.
The summer before my senior year, I met another boy. I thought he was "the one." He is the guy I lost my virginity to, the one I thought would be in my life forever.... and then he cheated on me with a 14 year old (he was 20) and was basically an ass.
Adam is the first man that I think I was really truely in love with. He was and still is the one person I can imagine having grandchildren with and growing old with. I am so very happy that I met him and get to spend the rest of my life with!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day 2-Meaning Behind Your Blog Name
It's not very hard to figure out. There is a poem by Emily Dickinson, it goes like this :
Hope
Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
While trying to concieve, hope is a very hard thing to hang on to. Whether you're on your 2nd cycle or your 15th, 3 months in or 3 years in, hope can be elusive.
When you have trouble trying to concieve, it's harder. You ask, why me? You look around and suddenly everyone is pregnant, and you ask, why not me? People complain about morning sickness, aches, pains and all the other uncomfortable symptoms of pregnancy and you wish you could have that. You wish you were having u/s that showed more than an empty uterus and cyst-filled ovaries. You wish that you didn't have to take medications that made you feel sick all the time, that you were one of those blessed "fertile myrtles" who just look at a penis and get pregnant.
It's lonely. It's a very lonely experience to go through infertility. Infertility is taboo. I don't really understand why. If infertilty wasn't something that plagued a lot of women we would have advances like IVF.
So why this poem? No matter how much hope seems to elude you, it's there. Everytime you think your period might be late, or you have a phantom symptom, it's in your soul singing the same song, you just have to get all the shit out of your head and listen to it. No matter how rough things are going, hope is always there.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Day 1-Introduce, Recent Picture, 15 Interesting Facts
Introduction:
My name is Bonita. I have been married for 2 1/2 years to Adam. We are currently expecting our first child in August! We have 3 furbabies, who we love and spoil as if they were our children: Nibbler, Laika and Izzy. We live in Baytown, in a house we bought about 1 1/2 years ago. I work as the manager over the Houston branch of a national e-discovery company and have been here since 2007.
Recent Picture:
Here's me today. All comfy in my Texas Hoodie
My name is Bonita. I have been married for 2 1/2 years to Adam. We are currently expecting our first child in August! We have 3 furbabies, who we love and spoil as if they were our children: Nibbler, Laika and Izzy. We live in Baytown, in a house we bought about 1 1/2 years ago. I work as the manager over the Houston branch of a national e-discovery company and have been here since 2007.
Recent Picture:
Here's me today. All comfy in my Texas Hoodie
15 Interesting Facts:
1. My favorite colors (in order) are: Orange, Purple & Yellow
2. I love anything grape flavored
3. I'm the oldest of 4 kids
4. I play 5 different instruments: Cello, Viola, Violin, Harp and Piano
5. My first job was a lifegaurd at our neighborhood pool
3. I'm the oldest of 4 kids
4. I play 5 different instruments: Cello, Viola, Violin, Harp and Piano
5. My first job was a lifegaurd at our neighborhood pool
6. I still love to swim
7. I'd much rather be too hot than even a little cold
8. Water is disgusting to me. It seriously does not taste good.
9. I believe in ghosts
10. I am the only one of my parent's children who seems to be in a stable and healthy relationship
11. I am so incredibly lucky sometimes
12. I'm a speed demon.
13. I have a pink star sapphire ring that my grandpa gave me when I turned 15.
14. I hate doing interviews, but it's part of my job
15. We're finding out the sex of the baby on 3/19!!
30 Day Blog Challenge
I stole this from Heather at No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. I'm hoping that maybe doing something like this will actually get me in the habit of 1. Making this Blog about more than TTC and Baby Kazmir and 2. Actually posting :)
So here are the subjects:
Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture
So here are the subjects:
Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture
Sunday, February 6, 2011
No News is Good News
So far, everything seems to be going along smoothly.
I purchased a home doppler and love trying to find the baby's HB, and then getting super excited when I do!
My next Dr. appt isn't until Feb. 15th, but I can't wait for my next ultrasound. Then, at the end of this month, we're going on our cruise to Mexico! Super excited. I've already bought a fancy dress maternity style and a swim suit. :)
I have had my first official baby dream. I dreamt that I was taking our baby to get her ears pierced and wanted to use ice to numb them (Seen Grease too many time perhaps?). So maybe it's a girl. I can't wait to find out!
Hope everything is going well in your worlds.
I purchased a home doppler and love trying to find the baby's HB, and then getting super excited when I do!
My next Dr. appt isn't until Feb. 15th, but I can't wait for my next ultrasound. Then, at the end of this month, we're going on our cruise to Mexico! Super excited. I've already bought a fancy dress maternity style and a swim suit. :)
I have had my first official baby dream. I dreamt that I was taking our baby to get her ears pierced and wanted to use ice to numb them (Seen Grease too many time perhaps?). So maybe it's a girl. I can't wait to find out!
Hope everything is going well in your worlds.
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